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Friday, February 3, 2012

Home study and helping the mother of our some day baby



We are one step closer to being expectant parents!! We had our home study yesterday.  I dreaded this step for months thinking it was going to be horrible.  The only part of it that was horrible was the getting ready.  I clean my place pretty regularly but our bedroom tends to be a place to "stick" everything that has no place to go!! So I had some work to do in there for sure.  I also felt like I needed to clean closets, cupboards and drawers. After all I didn't know how much our case worker would want to see.  She did see into some of our cupboards and closets, but only the ones where I had to show her storage for meds, first aid kit and fire extinguisher.  I did feel good though that I had a super clean apartment.
She also went over our profile and asked us to include more pictures of us and also wants us to revise our "Birth Mom Letter".  She said it needs to flow better and I have to admit it feels stilted and impersonal to me as well but its so hard to know what to write!!  How do you put into a few short paragraphs all your hopes and dreams of a family?  How do we possibly express our gratitude to the mother of our future child?  How do we tell her that we are trying to understand how this feels to her, when we can really have no idea?
We also talked to our case worker about what they can offer to a mom who is exploring her options.  They offer counseling to her and to any family members affected by her pregnancy.  They are willing to meet her in her home, at the agency, or even pick her up and take her for a meal or whatever.  As adoptive parents we can help with some of the costs that she may incur during her pregnancy if she chooses us and adoption.  They can help her with some of the needs she has during the pregnancy and even during the recovery time, and we would pay the agency back for the cost.  It was just one more way that as adoptive parents we can ease some of the worry of a expectant mother who chooses adoption.
I am so impressed with the way LDS social services offers so much help to those who need it.  Adoption is not the only answer for all these mom's and they help them to decide what works best for them.  We pray every day for our expectant mommy, who ever and when ever she may be a part of our lives.  We pray she won't have any issues with medical care, and that she may be comfortable talking to us.  We pray that she will be able to cope with the stresses this may cause in her life and possibly with her family.   We want her to know that we understand she has expectations for the future as far as "open-ness" and we are willing to work with her on those needs. We pray that she will know that she is loved by us, but mostly by her Heavenly Father.   She is NOT just a way for us to have a family... she is important to us. We hope she will keep the lines of communication open to us during this time of transition, and we promise to continue that after she gives us this beautiful gift.
I pray that she reads these words some day, and recognizes what I try so poorly to say.

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