My guardian angels

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s57iW_zjk0c&feature=results_main&playnext=1&list=PL37D5877C6CC09A19

Great Grandma and Great Grandpa Shafer

 

 

I was deep cleaning my kitchen today and listening to the Judd's.  I love the Judd's!!  There is a song they sing that always makes me cry.  "My Guardian Angels".   Makes me think of all the dear ones in my family who have passed on.  I never knew my Great Grandpa Shafer, except through family stories.  I knew great Grandma Shafer well.  She was a amazing woman!!  I know her stories because My dad interviewed her on tape and Berrett converted them to CD.

I think about my Grandpa Bailey on my mom's side.  He grew up hunting and trapping animals.  He loved a cup of coffee and rode the train rails as a hobo when he was a teen.   I know his stories because of a book he wrote about his life.

My aunt Lynda recently shared stories of the Mormon pioneers on my mothers side of the family, and I was excited to know a little bit about them.  We have some journal entries, but only just a few.

I remember my dad because I had him for 16 years, but I have probably forgootten some of his stories.  My brother and sister had even shorter times with him.  I wish he had kept a journal.  My mom has some letters he wrote when he was in Vietnam and I was just a toddler. 

I look at my blog and wonder what it reveals to my future children and grand children?  I hope it tells them more about their mom and dad, before we were ever their mom and dad.  

I love knowing where I come from.  I hope I can pass on a history to my kids.  Their History will be from several families, their birth parents and ours as well.  I do know one thing, they are with Our guardian angels at this time.  I know the ones we love are just waiting to bring them to us.  

Starting anew- weekly cleaning schedule

I hate housework!!  I admit this freely!! I would rather do anything else, including a visit to the dentist then clean my house.  Ever since our last adoption possibility fell through I have found myself struggling with the upkeep of my apartment.  I have just let depression and feelings of being overwhelmed conflict with my cleaning schedule.  Today I decided no more!! So I typed up a schedule for daily cleaning.  I intend to laminate and hang it up!!! Soon I will have two babies in the house to tend along with a 5 year old and some times a 7 year old!! I need to be organized!! I do better with check lists and written goals.  So in order to really commit myself and keep myself honest,I am posting this on my blog.  Anyone else use lists?

Weekly Schedule

Monday: Bathroom-

1. Clean Toilet- 5 minutes

                                                                2. Clean Tub-

                                                                3. Scour Sink

                                                                 4. Clean Mirrors

                                                                5.Polish counters

                                                                6. Sweep and Mop floor.

                                                                7. Wash rugs, liner and bath mat.

                Laundry: 1 to 2 loads- Hang up and put away

                Daily: Load and unload dishwasher- keep dining room table clean

                15 minute clean up before bed

Tuesday: Kitchen-

1. Empty Dishwasher and Dish rack

                                                                2. Fill dishwasher or hand wash as I dirty dishes.

                                                                3.Clean surfaces, counters, stovetop, etc.

                                                                4. Scour sink, empty garbage

                                                                5.Clean Microwave

                                                                6.. Clean out fridge

                                                                7. sweep floors, mop

Laundry: Bathroom and kitchen Towels, Blankets and sheets.  Put away

Daily: Load and unload Dishwasher-  15 minute clean up before bed.

Weds: Living room and Dining Room

1.       Dust

2.       Clean off high chair, shake out tablecloth under

3.       Vacuum

4.       Clean off computer desk

5.       Go through 1 box in dining area- donate- discard or save.

Laundry: Wash Whites, including Sunday shirts for Berrett

Daily: Load and unload Dishwasher- 15 minute clean up before bed

Thursday: Bedroom

1.Dust off dresser, side table

2.Gather dirty laundry, put away any extra clean clothes

3.Go through 1 box from closet, discard- donate and save.

4.Vacuum

Daily: any extra laundry- 15 minute pick up before bed

Friday: Front hall and Church shelf

`                                               1.Clean laundry area

2.Straighten primary shelf

3.Dust pictures on walls

4.Vacuum

Daily: laundry: blankets from living room- any kitchen towels as needed- put away

15 minute clean up before bed

Saturday: General cleanup, organize church stuff including clothes and plan weekly menu.

Sunday: Day off except for general clean up and dishes.

Rewards:                                               Goals:

1.       New book on kindle                                                                       1. Clean apartment

2.       Phone call with a friend.                                                              2. Kick depression and inactivity

3.       Play date with a friend                                                                  3. Happy kids

4.       Nap                                                                                              4.Daily Walk or 3 days of work out

5.       Night out                                                                                             5. Decluttered house                             

6.       30 minutes of computer or kindle time

                                                                               

To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the Heaven...

I will admit that my first exposure to the scripture above came about because of a oldie but goodie playing on my parents 8-track in the family station wagon.  It was performed by the Byrds and it was called "Turn! Turn! turn!".  It was written based upon the scripture from Ecclesiastes.  I know I am "dating" myself by one- mentioning this song. Two- mentioning a 8- track player, and three- mentioning a station wagon!!  Although ours was super cool, it was patriotic blue, with red, white and blue curtains in the side windows in the very back, and we had stickers on the side of every state we had ever traveled to!!  I miss that old wagon,where we listened to old songs, took road trips and spent countless hours asking dad " are we there yet?'
Any way back to the present.   When we first started attending our ward in Taylorsville, I was called to be a primary teacher.  How I loved teaching Primary.  Your students love you, they forgive you your short comings and you get to hear about all their amazing adventures!!  Not to mention a few family secrets!! LOL!! Kids tell you EVERYTHING!!  Lucky for the parents though, we don't tend to divulge what we know.
Any way, I taught primary for quite a while.  A little over a year ago, I was called to be 1st counselor in the primary.  I was a little sad to leave my classroom, but had received the impression that this was where Heavenly Father needed me, so I gladly accepted the calling.  I felt so lucky to work with our President Tonya, Ofelia the other counselor and Cynthia the secretary.  Ofelia moved away and I had the chance to get to know Alli who took her place.  We have all worked so well together.  Tonya has taught us so much, and my love for all the children has grown.

Well, recently Tonya was called to be in the Stake Primary Presidency.  I am not sure how the others in the presidency felt, but I was so sad that we were losing Tonya and not sure what would happen to the rest of us.   We knew that changes would be made, and we were not sure what they would be.  I found myself praying that what ever the Lord desired for me, that I would be at peace with it. 
Last Sunday, the bishop called me to be the Primary President. I was sustained and set a part today.
I thought I would feel overwhelmed, and I have had those moments.  What I didn't expect to feel was peaceful.   I don't know why He has asked me to serve in this capacity, but I do know that I have many things to learn, and this is the season for that learning.  I have already learned a little more about inspiration as I prayed to know who to pick as counselors, and secretary.  I felt really good about keeping some of them on, and felt really good about the newest member of our presidency, Alecia.  She indicated to me, that she had felt a few weeks ago, that this would be where she was called to.
I am someone who struggles with shyness, and I am always fearful of new situations.  I love my comfort zone.  I love to know what is expected of me, and I love to be the one following the Leader.  I have had management positions in the work place, but they were always hard for me.   I don't like to be the bad guy!!  The nice part about leading in the church, is we lead differently then we do in the world.  We still have tough decisions to make, but we are led by our Savior who taught that the best leaders are those who serve the ones we lead.   I pray I can do that.
I pray I can be a good servant.  The bishop blessed me today with the strength and energy I needed and a great love for those I will be serving, The Children.  I am grateful for the blessing and for the loving guidance of my Heavenly Father.  I am also grateful for the loving support of my husband and my family.  Its my season to serve, Its my turn to learn, and my turn to grow.  Its a very humbling experience.  

Woman at the Well Cast party

Tonight we gathered as a cast to watch the DVD of our performance and share treats and our testimonies of this choice experience.  Its funny I hate seeing myself on Moving Camera but I enjoyed being able to really hear how we all sounded.  In my opinion we were ALL wonderful.  When the spirit touches you in a performance, you can do so much more than you ever expected.  I wanted to share some photo's that were given to us. I believe they came from Michelle in my ward, but there may have been others who took some as well. Thank you for doing that!! Its nice to have a physical memory of the experience!!

Me singing with my friends.. "Day Of Tears"

amazing experience

My lovely Back up singers. having them behind me gave me more confidence

Don't the costumes look great!!!

Thats the "well" in the back ground

Love this Picture

Finale.. all of us singing "women at the well"

I was trying really hard not to cry, it was a emotional and spiritual experience

 Berrett and I after it was all over.  He ran the lights, [notice that I am wearing make up!!] This NEVER happens!!

 

 So grateful for this experience even though at first it terrified me!! Its nice to leave your comfort zone!!

Mothers Day

Jayden Ryan C.  chillin' in his baby bouncer

In my last post I told everyone about our beautiful new nephew Jayden.  Well on his 3rd day in the hospital, just a few hours before he was headed home, he started having difficulties breathing.  They eventually moved him to the NICU.  This was so scary.  My poor sister was expecting to take her sweet baby boy home and now, they were not really sure what was wrong.  He spent, the next 10 days in the NICU.  Luckily Tammy was given permission to stay in her room for a few more days and then they moved her to a smaller complimentary room.
Can I tell you what agony it was to watch my sister go through this?  She was recovering from the C section, separated from her two older boys and only able to spend time in the NICU for feedings and a little cuddling time.  To watch her head back to her room, past the other mom's headed home with their babies was so hard!!
She had some difficult moments, but remained strong for the baby and her boys.  She spent more time with him in the NICU then any other mom that I saw there.  She asked a lot of questions,  requested a priesthood blessing and prayed, and prayed and prayed.  They never seemed to really quite figure out what was wrong.  All the tests came back good, and they thought he might have aspirated some amniotic fluid, or possibly some breast milk.  Today she brought him home, on oxygen but doing well.
She always tells people that I am her second mom.  She praises me to the sky, but let me tell you, she is amazing!! She held up under some extreme pressure.  Her only concern was for her boys!! We would bring her meals many nights and she would eat, mostly so Jayden would have milk.  I think she is one of the best mom's I know!! I feel proud to watch her raise her boys!!
If I am half the mom she is, I will consider myself a success!! So its a bit early, but I know that when She brought that sweet little baby boy home today, It was "mothers day" at her house!!

A wonderful day in my life!!

Today I had the special privilege of seeing my nephew Jayden born.  My younger sister had a c section and asked me to be "dad" or "coach"  lol!!  I don't know how much coaching I did, but it was a amazing experience!! We had to get her to the hospital by 4:30 am and that was not much fun!! Going to bed at 12 and getting up at 2:45 am, is NOT recommended!! But.... Seeing a beautiful spirit born into this world. ... Holding a baby just a few minutes old.. and bonding with him forever.. IS HIGHLY  recommended!!!
I honestly don't know if I will ever see my own child born, It depends on the expectant mom who chooses us, but I will forever be grateful to my little sis who shared this spiritual experience with me!!
I love you Tammy, Blake, Dawsyn and Little Baby Jayden.

Also wanted to share a blog that a dear friend of ours shared today on us and adoption!! Thank you Brooke, it means so much to us that people care about us finding our forever family.  Please feel free to link and share with others!!
http://www.latter-dayhomeschooling.com/2012/04/adoption-and-great-couple.html

I am so grateful for all the choice children in my life!! Nieces and Nephews, Primary children, the Young women of our ward and the ones I worked with at Girls Camp.  For the children I love and tend, and for all the children who have brought so much to both Berrett and My life, we will forever be grateful!!
We both live by this Eternal Message!!

One hundred years from now,
It won't matter what car I drove,
What kind of house I lived in,
How much I had in my bank account,
Nor what my clothes looked like,
But, the world may be a little better
Because I was important in the life of a child

Women at the well

 A few months ago, one of my friends in the Relief Society presidency called me.  I consider her one of my closest friends in our ward, so I was happy to hear from her..... for the first few seconds! LOL!! She asked me if I sang?  Well friends and family, I have been hiding my light under a bushel about my "singing", so I was VERY surprised when she asked me this.  I think I said something like, "I have sang a little, why?"  She told me that our Relief Society was planning on performing Women at the Well by Kenneth Cope.  She also wanted to know if I would be willing to sing a solo.  I knew nothing about this program, but she is a very dear friend, so I said yes. 
We have been rehearsing for several weeks now, and the women in our ward who are running this, performing this and reading the script, are amazing!!! I don't feel so amazing. I am so nervous about this little venture.  I have a tendency to want to hide in large crowds.  I am NOT a performer.  I tend to look down, or tilt my head at this odd angle.  Berrett says I look like I am trying to climb inside myself!!  I probably am.  I do have some back up singers, and we have the MOST amazing pianist!!  So at least I won't be standing up there alone.  I have been asked to sing Day of Tears.  The song is about one of the women who witness the mockery and Crucifixion of our Savior Jesus Christ.  She is also one of those who goes to the tomb to wash and anoint his body and then discovers that he has risen.  It is a very moving song.  It is difficult for me to sing because of the emotions I feel as I sing it.  I can only imagine in costume and in the stage setting how much more real those feelings will be.  My nervousness aside, I keep thinking about the women in the Savior's life.  This program is about the women of the scriptures.  There is Mary and Martha who witness their brother being raised from the dead.  There is the woman who had a medical condition for years and knows if she just touches the Saviors robe she will be healed.  There is Mary the mother of Jesus, and so many more.
We often hear about the apostles from the scriptures.  They were special witnesses of Christ.  They knew him, they were taught by him, and they were able to see his resurrected body.  They were great men, who rose to their callings. Then again its nice to hear about the women in his life.  They were followers as well. Disciples.... Many of them were able to stay and witness his death when his disciples were not able to.  The scriptures tell us that he appeared to Mary Magdalene at the tomb.  How wonderful it is to know that to our Lord and Savior, women were loved and respected.  Even in his last moments, he looked at the grief of His mother and asked that one of His dearest friends take care of her.  I know that in my own life, I have felt His love, His strength and His support.  I have never doubted that He is here for me.  I think that is another reason why performing this song is so hard for me.  I want to do justice to the women in His life.  I want to bear testimony that He Lives!  Some how I have to find the courage I lack and do this as well as I am able.  I keep asking in prayer for help, and I ask you to pray for me as well.
I am truly stepping out of my comfort zone.  But that can be a good thing.  Adoption.. Or the Finding part of adoption I should say, is not always comfortable either.  We have had  interviews, home study's, birth parent letters to write, pictures to pose for, and even the uncomfortableness of having some one change their mind about placing their baby.  I have spent a lot of time and energy contacting people and talking about our desire to adopt, and pleaded with total strangers to keep us in mind.  Honestly the only part of the adoption process that feels comfortable is when we pray about it.  When we talk about it to each other and to our family and friends.  So I guess if I can step out of my comfort zone of "infertility" and the grief of "adoption miscarriage" and continue to pursue this dream, I guess I can stand on stage and sing in front of the ward and the family members and friends who will be in the audience.  After all, I LIKE TO SING!!!  I sing all the time at home, in primary, to the babies I tend.  Berrett and I sing in the car as well.  So I can do this!! I will Just remember the Little engine that could and keep telling myself "I think I can, I think I can." and when its all over, Maybe I will be able to say "I thought I could"!!!!