Adoption Classes

Several hours and 1 day later!! I am back!! The classes were great.  To be able to sit in a room with other couples who struggle from infertility and who all have the hope of adoption was great!!  We got to talk with other couples and meet, birth parents, birth mom's, parents who adopted internationally or transracially, or adopted special needs.  We talked about infertility and spoke with a panel of adult adoptee's.
We had Pizza and Pot luck  so we were spiritually fed and physically fed. We saw children's books that taught about adoption, race, culture and embracing our differences.

I even think that although Berrett found portions of it to be slow or slow moving, he was also inspired.  He began to talk to me about fund raising and our own hopes.  It was great!!  They gave us a small gift at the end, a picture of Joseph holding the Savior as a infant.  It speaks about Joseph being a adoptive father.  A very special thought!!
Here is the link to her page and the thoughts of the painter as she made this very special painting!!
http://www.kendraburton.com/kendra%20burton%20joseph%20detail.htm

Going forward

I have to admit that since I was laid off from my job, I have had moments of doubt about going forward with our adoption plans.  I was talking to a good friend of mine about this and she said "go ahead, you don't want to wonder years from now if you should have done something when you didn't."  I think she is right.  I know that when we prayed about adoption and what we should do about our family, we felt that this decision was right.   I don't know how we are going to pay for it.  I don't know where we are going to be living in the near future.  I am not sure that birthparents will choose us, but I am sure that Heavenly Father has something in mind.  I do wish that these answers would be clearer!!  It could be nice to know exactly what to do, but then how would we ever exercise our faith?
Tonight and tomorrow we have our adoption classes.  Today we are meeting with our doctor to have our medical forms filled out.  He is also such a good friend after all these years that we want to share our good news with him!!  We need to take our ID's and social security cards to LDS family services in West Valley to start our back ground checks, and need to pick up the training manual.  Its going to be a full day!!
Berrett is at physical therapy and when he gets home we will begin to run our errands.  I have a potential Interview next week.  I am hoping that it might work out, but praying to know what Heavenly Father would have me do.
 I would welcome a job, and the money it brings, but I also wish there was a way for me to work at home, so I could be here when We have a baby placed with us.  Please pray that we find some answers, and a prayer for a baby to be brought to our home would be appreciated as well.

The Problem with not having a job!!

Okay guys, I am truly bored!!!!!!  My apartment is clean.  I don't feel like cleaning out another closet today.  I got up, worked out, showered, dressed, read my email, ate breakfast, called my old HR department so I can can get a termination notice so Berrett can add me to his insurance and then.... I made Spudnuts!!
http://trafficofmymind.blogspot.com/?spref=fb { My other blog for recipe...}

So I now have 62 spudnuts raising in my kitchen.  I guess I will be making the rounds tonight to family and friends for Family Home evening.   Because Berrett and I are not going to eat 62 doughnuts!!!
I am tempted to work out again, just to keep my mitts off of these beautys!!
I tend to either craft or cook when I am bored!! I need a project!!  I am planning on going over to my sister in laws to scan photos tomorrow.  She needs a dvd montage for my nephews Eagle Scout Court of honor, and I need some family photo's for our Adoption Profile.  She had surgery a week ago and then had some complications, so I am sure she will welcome a visit.  But until then, I AM SO BORED!!! Its funny, before when I was working I had 4 days off at home, one was a sunday, but I was seldom bored.  Of course I worked On Thursday, Friday and Saturday, so by Monday I needed to clean the apartment.  Tuesday was Laundry day, and Weds, I was spending with Linda.  I really need some Linda time, I need to give her a call.
I guess I will go on line and apply at a few more call centers!!  I can't wait to start tending Angela's Baby next week.  I know there will come a time when we have a baby in the house of my own and I will long for these quiet days,   But until then, Its hard to appreciate!!

Glazed... Yummm!!!

Cinnamon Sugar...Are you drooling yet?

Another Chewy bite of the elephant!!

Today Berrett had a doctor appointment so He took the day off so we could run some errands.  I applied for a new social security card and also sent away for a copy of my birth certificate.  We had to go to the bank to get the request form notarized for the birth certificate.  While we were there the bank guy noticed we were getting charged some fee's that we shouldn't have to pay so he adjusted our account.  We mailed the birth certificate request and my social should be coming soon. 
 I also got my unemployment card in the mail.  It wasn't a BIG bite of the elephant but every I dotted and every T crossed is one more step in the direction of our future child.   Its also fun to explain to people why we need the documentation. When we explain that we are pursuing a adoption they get excited for us!!
By the time this is over I may even develop a taste for elephant steak!!

We joined the Mormon Mommy Bloggers!!

I have enjoyed the Mormon Mommy blogs, http://www.mormonmommyblogs.com/ and just got a email from them that we have been accepted into their community of Mormon mommy bloggers!! Yay!! We are featured in the Adoption and foster care section. 

I am hoping that this helps us have more contacts out their that might bring us to our future baby.
My nephew {Blake} has an aunt,[his dad's sister] who had a baby on mothers day.  She will be starting back to work soon and I offered to be her Child Care provider.  She will probably use me at least part of the time. I am excited to spend some time with a new born.  I could use the practice.  Plus it will be a bit more income coming in.  I need to get our place ready for our home study soon.  The problem is I am fighting a bit of a depression about leaving my job and not really being sure what to do next.  I want to be available for our adoption classes and we have pre paid for a vacation in August.  So I really don't want to start working anywhere until at least then.  I applied on line to Convergys today just to see what my options are.  I may apply at 1800contacts in the fall.  Or maybe even Jetblue.  I would love to work from home at some point.  I wish I knew exactly what the Lord has in mind for us,  If I am supposed to be working, Or if I am supposed to be at home for some reason.  Is their a baby in our near future??
A dear Friend at church told me that she got excited when she heard that I had lost my job because she said something bad always happens when the Lord has a great blessing in store for you.  I am hopeful that this is true, but I am trying not to get my hopes up too high either because I don't want to be disappointed.
We are praying daily for answers, where to live, how to pay for the adoption, and that the Lord will let us know when a child is meant to be ours.  I wish answers came more directly then just through our feelings or through the actions of others.  But I know that I must have faith.  He has a family in mind for us at some time.  In His Time. 

weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning, Ps. 30:5

Well, On Saturday I got laid off from my job of 20 years.   They said it had nothing to do with job performance just couldn't afford me any longer.  I have never felt like I was irreplaceable, but I was surprised.
 At first all I could think was this puts our adoption dreams to an end, but the more I have prayed and pondered on the matter, the more I know that we need to go ahead.  Some time the Lord has a baby in mind for our home and I have to depend on my faith to know that He knows what he is doing.  I will apply for unemployment, get my apartment ready for a home study.  I may look for a job eventually, or I may wait to see what the Lord has in mind for us.  I keep asking myself if maybe the Lord needs me to be home at this time.  I don't want to anticipate the blessing, but maybe our child is coming soon? I don't know.  I will try to remember my Mother in laws favorite scripture.  Proverbs 3:5-6 
"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths."

Please remember us in your prayers!

How we feel about adoption

I was talking to Berrett's mom and sister yesterday about the whole process of adoption, explaining the documents needed the home study etc. and his mom said "boy things sure have changed!"  She is right it is different from when she adopted Berrett.  Some things are easier, some are harder.   Berrett's story is his own to share, but let me just say it was a different time.
Before we were married we had talked about adoption.  Because of Berrett's history is seemed like a natural way to fill out our family.  We didn't know we would have problems with infertility but we had discussed it.  We had close friends who had struggled and we knew it could happen.  So recently when our case worker asked us how infertility had effected our marriage, we were surprised.  We don't feel like it has effected our marriage in a bad way.  We have turned to each other in our times of frustration, our sadness, but we have never blamed each other.  What happens to one of us, happens to both of us.  We are already a family.  If the Lord does not bless us with children in this life, we are still a family.  We want children, we pray for children, we plead for children, but if it doesn't happen we will go on.  We will continue to build our marriage and pray for understanding and peace.  We understand that family is a Eternal concept and we believe we will be blessed with children in the Lord's time, either in this life or the next.   But we hope, we pray and want children if it is all possible.
There are times, especially for me, when waiting is hard.   I love kids!! I am never happier then when I am in the company of children.  I love my calling in the church with the primary children.  I love the time I spend with the young women at girls camp.  I love my nieces and nephews.  I love to hear their stories, play their games,  hug and comfort them when they cry, laugh with them when they are happy.  I love being a aunt, but I long to be a mommy.   Berrett loves children too.  He adores all the babies in our ward, he points out to me, their cute little outfits, he has a special favorite among our friends who he always wants to hold.  He longs to be a daddy. We talk about books we want to read to them,  places we want to visit.  When we decorate our tree at Christmas, we talk about hanging their ornaments, hanging their stockings, putting cookies out for Santa.  We dream of decorating a nursery, watching them grow and change.  We look forward to the Dance recitals, the sporting events, the science fairs, even the endless home work.  I tease Berrett about protecting a daughter from "those boys" when she begins to date, and he teases me about little boys and the creatures I may find in their pockets.   We dream of our family and we pledge to do our very best for our little family.  We promise to kiss the boo boo's and dry the tears.  We promise to love them with all our hearts, even when they are not so lovable!!  We promise to share the miracle of their births with them and want them to honor their birth parents.  We feel that a child's arrival in this world is a sacred gift, and their own story.  Their adoption will never be a secret, but their story will be sacred.  It will be theirs to share with others as they want or need.  We want them to know how much we love and respect the way they arrived in this world and the people who brought them to us.   We don't know at this time how open we want our adoption to be.  We feel good about cards, letters, email, photo's and sharing information with our child's first family.  We don't know enough about "open adoption " to know how we feel about visits, or continual physical contact.  We really feel like Heavenly Father will guide us to the best plan for us and for our child's first family.   We hope that the people who consider us as parents will understand that we are still learning about the process.  So if you are looking, please understand that we are willing to consider your needs and desires as well.  We want everyone to be as happy about the process as possible.  We also want to protect your privacy and the privacy of our child.   We love this child.. Even before they are here, they are growing in our hearts every day.  We are so grateful for the chance to look into adoption and for the gift that expectant parents may offer to families like ours.   Who ever you are, May the lord bless you at this time and through out your whole lives.

Memory from our Wedding day!!

Anyone who knows us well, hears this story at least once.  Keep in mind you are hearing it from my perspective, Berrett has a slightly different version of the events.  Where I find humor in the situation he seems to only remember the frustration!!
We were sealed in the Salt Lake Temple on a some what cloudy day in May 1999.   We had pictures taken at the temple and then after changing out of our wedding clothes, joined our family for a yummy wedding lunch.  We escaped to our apartment for a bit,  and had a nap.."really we just napped"!!  Then Berrett and I drove out to Riverton.  He dropped me off at my mom's where my sister was going to touch up my makeup and touch up my hair-do.  I had been there about 30 minutes when I realized I had left my jewelry and garter at our apartment.  I called Berrett in a panic and he offered to drive the 20 minutes back to our apartment, and find said items.  I told him it wasn't worth it and he said "no, its your day and you should feel beautiful and complete."  so he told his mom he was running back to our apartment.  The Reception  was in about 2 hours time, but his Mom was also in panic mode.  She asked him to stop and pick up the rolls and desserts from 2 different bakeries on his way back.  He told her he didn't think he had time but he would try.  He raced to our apartment, called me because he had no idea where my jewelery or garter was, found the items and then called his mom to say he would not have time to stop at the bakeries.   Her words were" but no one else can do it!!"  Mean while I am at his house in my wedding dress with the photographer who is taking pics of me and my family and his family in every way without my groom.  His brothers in law are standing around waiting as well and Berrett often points out that one of them could have gone.  Now don't get us wrong all of his family prepared the house, the yard and some of the food.  They also spent the whole time at the reception serving food, doing dishes and waiting on OUR guests.  They were and are wonderful people who serve their family with all their hearts. 
Berrett races to the first bakery and the rolls are not even boxed.  he waits, loads them in and then races to the 2nd bakery for the desserts.  This bakery is a little mom and pop place with no sign on the door.   Berrett is driving around the parking lot looking for this place.  He finally gets out of the car and is looking at each individual shop.  His mom has called that bakery and the owner pokes his head out and asks him if he is Berrett?  They have a 3X5 card on their door with the bakery name!!  He loads the desserts in, comes to a screeching halt in front of his parents house.  His brothers wife, basically strips him of his outer clothes and dresses him in his tux.  {at this point she saw more of my husband unclothed then I had ! LOL]  We took about 15 minutes of pictures together after his dad told him to be calm and not to ruin "MY" day and we raced in the back door to stand in line while our guest strolled through the front door.
To this day no one can mention our wedding without Berrett teasing his mom about the fact that "no one but the groom" could pick up the food.
All in all it was a wonderful day!! We had a lot of guests, I got the chance to talk to some of Berrett's child hood friends who came.  One in particular told me that his child hood was the best because Berrett was his friend.  
My husband neglected to pack for the honeymoon so at Midnight I was packing his bags.  {setting a precedent that now I ALWAYS do the packing}  and we washed our car at 1am and drove back to our apartment.  We left on our official Honeymoon to Disneyland at 5am the next day.   So much for sleep!!
The main thing that I take from this whole adventure is Berrett's willingness to serve me and his mom on a day so filled with stress.  He is like that, He serves lovingly and willingly. [{but he may not let you forget about it, sorry Mom!!}

Another Bite of that Darn Elephant!

When we got home last night, there was a UPS notice on the door.  It had to be signed for so, it must be our marriage certificate.  I got on UPS.com and after a very frustrating period of time where it wouldn't accept my credit card info {had to pay $4.00 to change delivery date.} I finally got the payment to go through and scheduled for my next day off, which is next week.
So after that comes, I can go to the social security office and get my card.  Not even sure how long that takes, or if they issue it while I am there.  I have to do in person because my last card, had my maiden name on it.  I know, I know, I have been married 12 years and never changed my social security card.  So when it comes to documents, I move slowly!!  LOL!! {Does anyone know if they mail it, Or can I get it while I wait?}
Then we can take our Id's and social security cards to LDS social services and start our back ground check!! That will be another bite of the elephant!!

We are attending the temple this weekend and I am looking forward to a few moments of peace.  I hope that we can find some answers to our prayers.  Lots of decisions to make about our future.  Where to live, how to pay for the adoption etc.  
I have a feeling that all these bites of elephant are not going to be too bad.. its going to be the digesting {waiting for baby} that will be the hardest.

The Salt Lake Temple came through!!

Well my friends, when our storage unit flooded over a year ago, a box that I had stupidly stored documents in was ruined.  One of those Items was our sealing certificate.  We need a copy of that for our adoption.  Well our case worker informed us that we "Had" to have a copy of that document, even though our church records clearly state that we were sealed to each other on this date, at the Salt Lake Temple.  Oh well who am I to argue, right??  Well I called the Salt Lake Temple and asked for a copy.   3 weeks later, I am checking the mail last night and Lo and behold, they re- issued a copy of our sealing certificate.  YAY!!
Yesterday I ordered our Marriage Certificate.  Once we get the copy of that I can go get a social security card, {that was damaged in the flood as well}.  I also need to find a day when both Berrett and I can go the bank and have our request applications notarized for our certified birth certificates. 
Are you dizzy yet??  We also need to make appointments with our doctor and have him give us a clean bill of health, except for our infertility.  I got my employment verifcation filled out, sent Berrett's with him today.
We need to do our back ground checks through the agency, but I can't do that till I have my social security card, which I can't get until we have our marrige certificate!!
AAAGGH!!  Okay, just a few more bites of that elephant!! I keep telling myself that at the end of this journey we get one of these!!