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Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Understanding infertility



I read this recently in our adoption resources book, it is one of the best way I know to explain how a woman feels about infertility.
" A friend brought this similarity of our roles on this earth to light: Women are foreordained to become mothers to children. Her physical and emotional makeup are created for that purpose. Just as men are foreordained to receive the Priesthood. the comparison can be made when children are not able to be born into these mothers arms. Just imagine turning 12 and having a priesthood interview with the Bishop. He tells you that you are worthy and that he sees no reason why you shouldn't be able to become a deacon and receive the priesthood. All your friends have been ordained and you look forward to this so much.  Then he tells you that you cannot become a Deacon, and no reason why. Just that it isn't possible. You just don't understand. The same happens when it comes time to become a Teacher or a Priest in the Aaronic Priesthood.  This same feeling for a man not able to become a member of the aaronic priesthood is much like a woman's motherhood. When children can't be born to her, she feels like her purpose on this earth can't be fulfilled. this is where our Heavenly Father has blessed us to have the opportunity to grow our families through adoption. We can raise His children and show them the path to return back to their Father in Heaven."
 I know that infertility affects the men in the church as well.  I don't discount their pain. I know it has been hard for my husband to not have a family.  He watches the children in our family and in our ward and I can see the longing on his face.  But this example offers a special understanding of what it is like for women.
Some infertile couples choose to keep away from babies and children when going through this.  As for me and my husband, we welcome all the children in our lives.  At least we have the chance to enjoy them and be of some good in their lives.  I can " mother" and nurture children who are not mine.  I have had aunts and uncles in my life who have helped lead me, when my parents could not. I have had primary teachers, YW leaders, camp directors and good family friends help me with my struggles.  
I take hope in the statement of another sister who said " My children are my jewels, no matter the circumstances in which they come to me. I was devastated when we were told we would not be able to parent biological children, but not hopeless. We some how knew we would be parents on this earth and just needed to find the way that are all knowing father had planned for us to get them.  After checking several options, we decided that adoption was the right thing for us. The waiting game was long and sometimes painful-- like a child waiting for Christmas--, but it was wiped from our memory, the moment each of our children were placed in our arms."

This Adoption process is like a roller coaster ride. It has its ups and downs, its times of excitement and its times of fear.  I personally hate roller coaster rides, but I will endure a million of them if it means a child will be placed in our arms and in our home.
We are headed into the next up of this roller coaster ride.  We Will soon have our profile up and hope to be led to our forever family.  We appreciate all your prayers and good wishes in our behalf.

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