Adoption Court and our Forever Family!!

I just wanted to post some pictures of the Adoption finalization, the Temple Sealing Day, Her Adoption celebration and her blessing day.

Adoption Court with our Judge

I posted this on Facebook the day before the sealing

Scrapbook pictures of our Sealing Day

Kissing our little sweetheart!

I can't even describe the joy we felt!

Our solemn little girl!

I love these!

Berrett's parents, and my mom and step dad

Our wedding day, 15 years ago and our Sealing of Maddi today.

Our family members who joined us that day!

Blessing and Mothers Day!

Our dear friend Lehi gave Maddi a lei and mommy one as well! I wasn't wearing it because she kept trying to eat it!

"Berrett and Kay, you just finalized your adoption... what are you doing next?" "We are going to Disneyland!!!"

Ever since Berrett and I spent our honeymoon at Disneyland, we have dreamed of taking our child to that magical place.  We would vacation there about every 2 years throughout our married life and every time although we had fun, we had a sense of something missing.
Berrett has been planning this vacation with Maddi almost since the day she was born.  We had a idea that the adoption might be done some time in May, so we picked a date and hoped it could be a celebration of our forever family.  We were in luck, we finalized the adoption in court on May 5th and we had her sealed to us in the temple on May 10th.  We had a fun potluck dinner that evening with family, friends and members of our LDS congregation.  It was a wonderful day!  Her daddy gave her a name and blessing the next day, which happened to be Mothers day.  In the LDS faith we don't baptize our babies, but they are christened with a name and her father or another male member of her family will pray for her, or "bless" her with special talents and hopes for her future.  We believe that worthy men in our church hold the power of the priesthood, or the "Authority and power that God gives to man to act in all things for the Salvation of man."
It was a great mothers day present to see our baby girl all dressed in white and hear her Father bless her.

We left for Disneyland the next Thursday.  We stopped overnight in Henderson NV and spent the evening with a good friend of mine and her family.  Maddi travelled really well! We stopped at our tradition rest stop at Cove Fort and took the traditional picture of Maddi in my arms.  So fun to see how she has changed!

6 days old at Cove Fort

We got up early the next morning and drove to Anaheim and checked into our hotel.  We unpacked a little, changed our clothes and Maddi, loaded up the stroller with diaper bag, food, water, sunscreen and headed into the park.  I will admit that we both shed a few tears as we crossed through the main gates of Disneyland.  We stopped at city hall and picked up celebration buttons for ourselves and a "first time" button for Maddi.  It was crowded, hot and yet wonderful!
We attempted a trip to the Tiki room, but it made Maddi cry!  Too loud and too dark.  She had the same reaction to the Pooh Bear ride.  She

Almost 11 months old at Cove Fort

did enjoy the slushie we bought in critter country and watched Tigger from afar.  She and mommy found some shade and drank some water and rested while daddy rode a few rides.

The highlights of our trip: Maddi and Minnie and friends at the Plaza Inn.  Although she spent most of her time at breakfast in mommies arms, she looked so cute dressed as Minnie and it was a moment her daddy and I had dreamed of.  We expected her to be unsure of those big furry people and she was!  Still it was a experience we enjoyed for the first time as a family.

Maddi dressed as Minnie Mouse, ears and all!

She also loved the parades!  She clapped her hands and smiled and watched the floats go by with great interest!  She loved the Casey JR. ride and Little Mermaid ride.
The best part of the trip was our lunch at Ariels Grotto.  She was dressed as Snow White and looked so cute!!  She smiled at every Princess and was so excited about the food, the crown, and the compliments of those around us!

Watching the parade with daddy

The wearing of the Royal Crown

Some day my Prince will come....

our pretty mini Snow White

Maddi and Aurora

So excited!!

Snow White was so sweet with her!!

She loved Snow White

Our little Beauty looking starry eyed at Belle

Listening hard to Cinderella

Check out that sweet smile!


Another great moment was when we stopped at Snow whites Grotto.  Her daddy had proposed to mommy there.  I had made a wish into the well every time we were there.  This time no change was needed, our wish had come true!
It was a amazing trip!  She slept a lot in the park, and we didn't ride as many rides as we usually did, but we were sharing the magic with Maddi and that alone felt like a miracle!

Angels on Earth

My wife posts to our blog more often than I, Though I normally reply to things she writes I just want to quickly post about some "Angels on Earth" My Brother Monte Maynard jr, and His Wife Rachelle. On more than one occasion they have traveled half way to California to rescue us. The first was a few years ago when our car caught fire crossing the Mojave Desert. They left immediately to come help us, renting a trailer to tow my car back to Utah. I have said it more than once and I repeat again with loving emotion "I was never so glad to see my big brother!" The second was when we were returning from picking up our daughter Maddi. Because of the ICPC (Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children) we couldn't leave California until we had permission. I needed to return the rental car so I left Maddi and Kay at her cousin's house and began the long trek across the Mojave desert to meet my brother in Vegas and get my car towed back to Utah, and drive their car back which they had driven down along with their Yukon to tow my car. I was about  2 hours into my 3 hour trip when Kay called and ICPC had granted permission for us to leave with Maddi. When I called my brother he told me to go get them, that he and Rachelle would wait for us. The are such amazing people I love them both and they are instrumental in bringing our baby girl into our family.

Its been too long since I have written.. Maddi keeps me pretty busy! On May 5th we went to Family Court and Maddi's adoption was finalized. Now we count down the days until we take her to the temple this weekend and she becomes a part of our forever family.

As a Member of the Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter Day Saints, we are taught from the time we are small that we will grow up and attend the temple. That our greatest desires and dreams are to be a part of a eternal family. My parents were not sealed in the temple when they were married because my dad was a new convert. I was 11 years old when I was sealed to my parents in the Los Angeles Temple. I remember the beautiful white dress that the Temple workers found for me to wear, and how pretty my mom looked all in white. I remember that I was excited to be there and I felt the spirit strongly.

I don't know if Maddi will have any memories of this special day at all, but she will hear the stories, see the pictures and I hope she will know she was surrounded by people who love her. Her Nana, made her a white blanket for the Temple and her blessing day, before she was even born. Her momma sacrificed her wedding dress, and her sweet aunt Rachelle lovingly made it into her temple/blessing dress. Her grandpa and Uncle Monte-o will act as witnesses, and her sweet auntie "Shell" will dress her in that sweet white dress, fasten the white hair clips her momma made in her hair, and we will see her enter the room with tear filled eyes. I know with all my heart that she will be surrounded by aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents and friends who love her, and I know that those who wait in Heaven will be there as well.

A earthly judge declared that Maddi was ours by the standards of the world, but I look forward to the declaration of our Heavenly Father, that she is ours for all of Eternity. Linked in the chain of our family...

Finally and forever ours!!

Finding Joy... and ditching the "what if's"

Yesterday I realized something.  I am a worrier.  I don't mean to be.  I try really hard to look for the positive in life but I also spend a great deal of time worrying about what "could" happen.
When Berrett and I started our married life, I was so hopeful for a half dozen kids and a big house bursting at the seams with their friends, their hobbies and probably a few pets to add to the chaos.  Then we began to worry... "What if we could never get pregnant?"
As time went by and we knew pregnancy wasn't going to happen, we changed our view to one of adoption.  We prayed, we fasted, we filled out mountains of paperwork and pages of questions on the Agency's profile page.
We agonized over which photo's to share and how to write a letter that would help the birth family choose us.  The "what If's" snuck in when we had two failed adoptions.. but when we finally brought our Maddi home, it seemed like all our dreams had come true.  They had!!
We had our beautiful baby girl!!
Still in the back of my mind there continues to be some "what if's"?  What if the birth father fights us?  What if the judge drags his feet?  What if we are not great parents?  What if our case workers think we are doing a lousy job?  What if Maddi ends up not liking us?  and so on and so on!!  It really is silly some of these questions.  The reality is that Maddi loves us.  We are doing our best to be good parents.  The court stuff is taking longer then we expected, but we have our baby in our home and in our arms.
I happened to read a post on Facebook yesterday that a friend shared.  It was about a mom who was dealing with her son and his special needs.  I spent most of nap time reading over her blog and weeping over all of the stuff she had to deal with.  I kept thinking about how I would feel in her place.  She Loves her boy.  She struggles and has almost lost him several times.  They don't even have a name for what is wrong at this point, and yet she looks for the joy!
Last night I put our Maddi on the floor and laid down next to her on our favorite quilt.  I watched her roll and giggle.  I made funny faces to make her laugh harder.  I played "this little piggy" on her toes.  I brushed her hair and kissed her cheeks and marvelled at the miracle I held in my arms.  Just 4 and 1/2 months ago I was a wife, daughter, sister and friend.  Within a few days of her being born, I became what I always dreamed of.  A mommy.  Yes, it will be wonderful to have a judge sign off on the papers that make her legally ours.  And I will be rejoicing to have her sealed to our family forever... but neither of those things make me any more her mommy then I am now.  She has grown in my heart for so long.  I just didn't know her until we met on the day of her birth.  I am going to do my best to put aside the worries and just look for the joy!!
She brings so much joy with her!!  We feel so blessed!! The Lord can take care of the worries... I am just going to love my Maddi girl and look for the wonder and joy she brings to our lives!

The first night... and three months later.

My dearest darling daughter,
I think back to the first night you were alone with daddy and me.  We were in a hotel, You were asleep in the play and pack.  I think I was up about every hour checking on you and your breathing.  You looked so tiny and so vulnerable.  I measured every breath, every sigh. My heart was filled to bursting with love for you!  I must have sent up a dozen prayers in gratitude for having you with us, prayers for your safety, prayers for your health, prayers that we would know how to take care of you.
Tomorrow you will be three months old.  I still check on you throughout the night, although I have relaxed quite a bit.  Maybe just once or twice a night.  I still measure every breath and every sigh.  My heart is still full to bursting with love for you, only my heart has grown and grown.  Every day your daddy and I love you even more.  I still send up prayers of gratitude, prayers of safety, prayers for your health, and I pray often to know best how to care for you, how to raise you.  Heavenly Father has the ultimate parenting manual... prayer!!
We have come to know you better and better,  I can tell when you are asleep just by the sound of your breathing.  I recognize the cry you make when you are hungry.  I know that if you are given the chance to wake up on your own in the morning you wake up so happy!!!  You smile, giggle and entertain your daddy and I greatly!!
You kick your legs and make this high pitch squeal when you are happy and excited!  You love to be held.
You love to snuggle into daddy's arms, early in the morning while I get ready for work.  I love to walk into the bedroom and see you asleep curled in your sleeping daddy's arms.
You love music, and love to be sung to.  You love to be read to as well!  You  sleep better after your good night story and pj's and prayers.
We can't wait to see what the future holds. We can't wait to see who you will be!! Who ever that is.. We will love you more and more each day, each month, each year.
We love you our darling girl!!

A poem for Maddi...

"Pretty little precious one, snuggled in my arms.
Who knew how you could capture me,
with all your quiet charms.
The glowing smile, the shining eyes,
Those little noises...your baby sighs.
You are ever changing, my darling tiny one.
Please don't grow up too fast...
our time has just begun.
I press your body close to me.
Our hearts soon beat in time.
I can't but feel a wonder,
That you are finally mine.
A dream we carried openly,
but feared would never come.
Your life is now our miracle,
from God and His blessed Son.
You did not grow inside me,
you grew within our hearts.
And soon for all Eternity
A family that never parts."

Written by her mommy, on Aug 15-2013