Adoption Orientation

So we did it!! We had our first meeting!!  It was both scary and exciting!!  Looks like we have a lot paperwork ahead!!  We need our birth certificates, marriage certificate, temple sealing certificate, a recommendation letter from our bishop.   We will have a caseworker assigned to us once our bishop returns our recommendation letter. 
We need to buy a fire extinguisher for our apartment, and I need to go through and get rid of few more things before we have our home study.  Just so we have more room!!  We will have a "couple" interview and then individual interviews.
We will need to pay 1000.00 up front and a 300.00 fee for the home study.  The rest of the fee's will be due at placement of the baby.    We have to have a criminal background check, references from family and friends and  eventually set up our profile, so we will need to get pictures taken!!
Whew!! What a process!! 
It was funny though, she talked about how couple who are proactive and use blogs, placement cards, and who get the word out that they are looking to adopt, have better success.  I had to laugh inside, what she calls proactive, Berrett calls "obsessive" and THAT  fits my personality type.  Give me a project and I get consumed with it.  I am already making lists of all the people instate and out of state who we can send placement cards to!!
Interesting facts about adoption.   A lot more couples then babies available.  They encourage couples to look into other options as well, such as private adoption, other agencies and foster adoption.  We will have to pray and ponder over those decisions.  
If you travel to another state to adopt, you will have to stay in that state until the caseworker there gives you permission to leave with the baby and a case worker in Utah gives you permission to come home to Utah.  They had a couple there looking into a 2nd adoption who waited in OHIO for 2 weeks after placement of their baby.
Berrett shared with the group of couples that he was adopted and showed some real interest in the organization called "families that support adoption"
We took Berrett's parents to dinner last night and filled them in. 
I asked the caseworker if a 1 bedroom apartment would count against us in a home study and she said not necessarily as long as we have a plan to  be in bigger quarters eventually.    I really liked the feelings I got at LDS family services.  We have a testimony that the Lord wants us to have a family, and he will find a way to bring that child to us!!   The case worker also assured us that sometimes you don't receive placement through one of those avenues but that the Lord See's how hard you have tried and blesses you in another way.
I think that its possible to leave one of those meetings and feel a little discouraged, especially when you hear how many couples are looking, but I don't feel that way... well maybe a teeny tiny amount!! But we are trying to extend our faith that this is the way are meant to fill our family.
So eventually we will be making and sending out placement cards, they said if your friends and family are willing to leave those with tips at restaurants, with hair stylists, In borrowed library books, with doctors and dentist offices, with bishops and stake presidents, young men and young women leaders etc.  Any "golden Contact" possible!! Feels a little like missionary work!
If you would be interested in helping us find our forever family and wouldn't mind giving out placement cards, please let us know!!
Thanks for all your prayers and good wishes and your words of support!!

We are on our way!!

Orientation Tomorrow

Tomorrow is the real beginning to our journey.  We meet with LDS family services at 3pm.
Is it crazy that I am wondering what I should wear?  Church clothes?  Dressier slacks and blouse?  Berrett will be coming straight from work, so probably not church clothes.  I know this is only the orientation but still first impressions and all!!
I'm also thinking about my Mothers Day Madness at the floral call center next week. Its going to be  a LONG Week..  I will work every day about 12 hours a day. 
I wonder if I will feel differently about Mothers Day this year?  I have had years where it didn't bother me at all, other times its the hardest day of my year.   It should be interesting.

Paper Pregnant

I Saw a funny tshirt on the web the othe day that was made for Expectant Adoptive Moms that said "paper pregnant".  I laughed but then I really began to think about it.  The ladies I know who are expecting all have some way that shows it.  Whether morning sickness, swollen ankles, protruding tummy or a sore back.   I am not saying I really miss all those symptoms, but I miss the obvious signs that I am a Expectant Mom!!  I miss the "when are you due?"  umm.  not sure....  The Compliments about the "pregnant glow".  It is true that adoption doesn't cure infertility. I just may have to buy that T-shirt!!

Sometimes I am not the girl he married....

This morning I said something unthoughtful and careless to my husband.  He had a very restless night, in pain and uncomfortable.  After coming to bed in the wee hours of the morning and finally getting a few hours of sleep I woke him up and hurried him along.  He asked me if he had enough time to get a hot shower before I had to be to work.  I rolled my eyes and acted annoyed and basically told him to hurry and told him "he always made me late."  He did remind me that he was in pain and wondered if I understood even 1/10th of what he was feeling.
I do remember that kind of pain, I don't feel it as often any more but I do remember, but what I don't often remember is my patient, loving husband who listened to me complain, slowed down for me in shopping centers, took me to endless doctor visits and loved me through out.
So sweet heart let me say I am sorry that sometimes I forget that you are still the same sweet guy I married.
If I get frustrated and forget to be kind, I apologise.  I need to remember that I married a man who drives me to work every day.  Who holds my hand and dances with me in grocery store.  Who sends me rosebuds in texts.  Who prays with me every day and sleeps beside me every night. 
Some times I need to be reminded that you deserve that sweet girl who you married.  I promise to try to change my impatient ways!!

I love you and can't wait to start the next chapter in our lives.  Last night you called me "mommy" for the first time and my heart just about leaped out of my chest.  To be the mother of your children will be the best gift I can ever share with you.  I can't wait to see a sweet boy or girl look up at you and call you "daddy". They will be so lucky to have you in their lives. 
I hope you forgive me for my unthoughtful actions!!
Much love,
Your Kay

Infertility Our Own Special Wilderness

I was reading my scriptures this morning and was struck by a verse in 1 Nephi 17:3

"And thus we see that the commandments of God must be fulfilled. And if it so be that the children of men keep the commandments of God he doth nourish them, and strengthen  them, and provide means whereby they can accomplish the thing which he has commanded them; wherefore, he did provide means for us while we did sojourn in the wilderness."

One my struggles has been the commandment to "multiply and replenish the earth."  We are told to obey all the commandments but what do you do when your body doesn't work in such a way that you can obey the commandment?   I know that this scripture is talking about providing for Nephi's family by feeding them and caring for them in the wilderness, but it struck me today that we are being obedient and that the Lord will strengthen us, Nourish us with his words and like Nephi's family with the Liahona He will guide us in this wilderness called Infertility.  Adoption is our wooden bow.  We may have broken our steel bow's {infertility} but He has provided a way for us to become parents.
The April Ensign has a wonderful lesson about Faith and Infertility.  I hope if any others struggle with this issue that they will read it.  I also pray that others who have been blessed with children read it as well. We need your understanding.
http://lds.org/ensign/2011/04/faith-and-infertility?lang=eng
I love the way you can read the scriptures many times and every time find the answers to your prayers!!

Just an idea...

As you know we are looking to raise some of the money needed to pay for our adoption.  LDS family services is not as expensive as many other adoption agencies, but we still need to raise a sizable amount.
We have considered many possibilities, A bake sale, Cook books, T shirts, a yard sale.  But a family member mentioned a benefit concert.  As many of you know Berrett has many friends in the community who sing, play instruments and act.   If we were able to organize such a event would you be willing to pay to attend?
If you are a performer would you be willing to donate your time and talent to our cause?  We are also looking for a venue that might be willing to donate the rental as well.   Just putting some ideas out there. 
We are still in the planning stages so this is just a thought at the moment.  If you have any great ideas, or know of some that others have used we would love your input.  Thanks to all of you who have been reading our blog!! We appreciate the interest.  

Its not cancer!!

My best friend was diagnosed with cancer almost 10 years ago. She fought a long and hard battle and survived.  This last week she found a lump near the site of her original cancer and the doctors did a biopsy.  On Friday she received the results and the nurse told her it was a "A typical Mass" which could indicate cancer.  Berrett gave her a priesthood blessing that night and promised her the doctors would look at the results and know exactly what to do.  We fasted and prayed for her over the weekend, and today she called and the doctor says its not cancer!!  I guess the site has a lot of extra blood vessels in the area because of the radiation and so the lump looked suspicious. They do want to do another biopsy in a few months when it has healed, but for now it looks really good!!! Yay!!!  This dear friend of ours is going to be "Aunt" to our future child and we can't imagine not having her in our lives.  The Lords blessings are so apparent!!  Thank you Heavenly Father!!