Count your many blessings....

I will admit that when it comes to infertility it can be difficult to find ray's of hope in your life. For instance-at the moment my first counseler in primary had her 2nd baby in January. My 2nd counseler is expecting her first in May. Our chorister is expecting in Msy- our activity day leader is expecting in May. I am surrounded by women who have given birth or who are expecting! In the past I have let myself become bitter at every announcement. And yet the only person I hurt was me!!! By withdrawing from those around me who have reason to rejoice I lose the chance to share their joy and their friendship. We don't know the stories behind these blessed events. One of my dearest friends has two children and yet has experienced many miscarriages. I sat and cried with her recently over her latest one. I learn about women of great strength when I let myself be a part of their joy or pain. My friend lost her baby later in a pregnancy the she had ever had before. She is grieving and yet when I called her for some advise and comfort about a situation I was in she put aside her pain and gave me some of the best words of advise and comfort. My 2nd counseler has struggled this entire pregnancy with morning-noon-and night sickness!!! And yet she withstands it because she wants to be a mom! Adoption has its struggles. Waiting- worrying about the expectant mom- praying this time it will all work out. But no matter how they get here each child is a joy!! I decided long ago I could choose pain or I could choose joy. So bring on the birth announcements- bring on the baby showers- I choose to count my blessings and to live with joy!!!!

We have been home from our Disneyland trip a week now! We had a great time with Linda and Tracey!! If you haven't been to California Adventure in a while it is now worth it!! Cars land alone is SO FUN!!! It has changed the whole feel of the park!! I will post more pictures eventually!!

Blessed....

Today I feel very blessed.  Although I still long for our child, I feel so blessed to have first, Declan and now Jayden in our lives.  There is something about feeding, changing, cuddling and playing with a baby that helps your love to grow.  I miss them when they are not around, I hurt for them when I hear they are sick, or have hurt them selves.  I guess with little boys, bumps and bruises are parr for the course!!
When Jayden smiles at me, when Declan climbs into my lap for a cuddle.  Even when they are both having melt downs, at the same time.. I feel blessed.  I have two babies in my life, that I get to watch grow, and change.  I feel their love and although I could never replace their mom's. I do know they love me too!!

Heavenly Father knew how empty my arms felt and he helped me to fill them, and still get a decent nights sleep!! LOL!! I bet Declan and Jayden's mom wish for a little extra sleep!!

The best oven fries!!

I love to cook, although tending two little ones under 2 some times makes it difficult!! My sis told me about these yummy burgers you can buy at Walmart. They are in the frozen meat section. They have bacon and cheddar mixed in them. I took out the garbage already but I think they were called black angus bacon and aged cheddar burgers. They come 6 in a box and you cook them from frozen. They are about 6 or 7 bucks at my Walmart. Very good and they are easy!! I wanted oven fries with my burger, and I had pinned a method on Pinterest that I pinned. You take 3 or 4 potatoes peeled. Slice them into wedges about the size of your ring finger. Soak them in Hot water for 10 to 20 min. Heat the oven to 475 F. Meanwhile line a baking sheet with foil, using a pastry brush or even some paper towels, liberally oil the pan with about 3 to 4 TBS of canola oil. Sprinkle the oiled pan with Sea salt, pepper and what ever other seasonings you like. I added paprika. Dry the potatoes well and toss them in a bowl with about 2 TBS of oil. Place them on baking sheet in a single layer. Cover the sheet with foil, or if you used it all to line the sheet( I did), with another baking sheet. Cook for 5 minutes and then uncover. Bake 10 to 15 minutes, turn them with tongs or a spatula, and bake 10 to 15 more till golden brown, Drain on paper towels and sprinkle with just a little more seasoning. They taste like you deep fried them but you don't use as much oil. I doubt they are any healthier, but less messy for sure!!

My guardian angels

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s57iW_zjk0c&feature=results_main&playnext=1&list=PL37D5877C6CC09A19

Great Grandma and Great Grandpa Shafer

 

 

I was deep cleaning my kitchen today and listening to the Judd's.  I love the Judd's!!  There is a song they sing that always makes me cry.  "My Guardian Angels".   Makes me think of all the dear ones in my family who have passed on.  I never knew my Great Grandpa Shafer, except through family stories.  I knew great Grandma Shafer well.  She was a amazing woman!!  I know her stories because My dad interviewed her on tape and Berrett converted them to CD.

I think about my Grandpa Bailey on my mom's side.  He grew up hunting and trapping animals.  He loved a cup of coffee and rode the train rails as a hobo when he was a teen.   I know his stories because of a book he wrote about his life.

My aunt Lynda recently shared stories of the Mormon pioneers on my mothers side of the family, and I was excited to know a little bit about them.  We have some journal entries, but only just a few.

I remember my dad because I had him for 16 years, but I have probably forgootten some of his stories.  My brother and sister had even shorter times with him.  I wish he had kept a journal.  My mom has some letters he wrote when he was in Vietnam and I was just a toddler. 

I look at my blog and wonder what it reveals to my future children and grand children?  I hope it tells them more about their mom and dad, before we were ever their mom and dad.  

I love knowing where I come from.  I hope I can pass on a history to my kids.  Their History will be from several families, their birth parents and ours as well.  I do know one thing, they are with Our guardian angels at this time.  I know the ones we love are just waiting to bring them to us.  

Starting anew- weekly cleaning schedule

I hate housework!!  I admit this freely!! I would rather do anything else, including a visit to the dentist then clean my house.  Ever since our last adoption possibility fell through I have found myself struggling with the upkeep of my apartment.  I have just let depression and feelings of being overwhelmed conflict with my cleaning schedule.  Today I decided no more!! So I typed up a schedule for daily cleaning.  I intend to laminate and hang it up!!! Soon I will have two babies in the house to tend along with a 5 year old and some times a 7 year old!! I need to be organized!! I do better with check lists and written goals.  So in order to really commit myself and keep myself honest,I am posting this on my blog.  Anyone else use lists?

Weekly Schedule

Monday: Bathroom-

1. Clean Toilet- 5 minutes

                                                                2. Clean Tub-

                                                                3. Scour Sink

                                                                 4. Clean Mirrors

                                                                5.Polish counters

                                                                6. Sweep and Mop floor.

                                                                7. Wash rugs, liner and bath mat.

                Laundry: 1 to 2 loads- Hang up and put away

                Daily: Load and unload dishwasher- keep dining room table clean

                15 minute clean up before bed

Tuesday: Kitchen-

1. Empty Dishwasher and Dish rack

                                                                2. Fill dishwasher or hand wash as I dirty dishes.

                                                                3.Clean surfaces, counters, stovetop, etc.

                                                                4. Scour sink, empty garbage

                                                                5.Clean Microwave

                                                                6.. Clean out fridge

                                                                7. sweep floors, mop

Laundry: Bathroom and kitchen Towels, Blankets and sheets.  Put away

Daily: Load and unload Dishwasher-  15 minute clean up before bed.

Weds: Living room and Dining Room

1.       Dust

2.       Clean off high chair, shake out tablecloth under

3.       Vacuum

4.       Clean off computer desk

5.       Go through 1 box in dining area- donate- discard or save.

Laundry: Wash Whites, including Sunday shirts for Berrett

Daily: Load and unload Dishwasher- 15 minute clean up before bed

Thursday: Bedroom

1.Dust off dresser, side table

2.Gather dirty laundry, put away any extra clean clothes

3.Go through 1 box from closet, discard- donate and save.

4.Vacuum

Daily: any extra laundry- 15 minute pick up before bed

Friday: Front hall and Church shelf

`                                               1.Clean laundry area

2.Straighten primary shelf

3.Dust pictures on walls

4.Vacuum

Daily: laundry: blankets from living room- any kitchen towels as needed- put away

15 minute clean up before bed

Saturday: General cleanup, organize church stuff including clothes and plan weekly menu.

Sunday: Day off except for general clean up and dishes.

Rewards:                                               Goals:

1.       New book on kindle                                                                       1. Clean apartment

2.       Phone call with a friend.                                                              2. Kick depression and inactivity

3.       Play date with a friend                                                                  3. Happy kids

4.       Nap                                                                                              4.Daily Walk or 3 days of work out

5.       Night out                                                                                             5. Decluttered house                             

6.       30 minutes of computer or kindle time

                                                                               

To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the Heaven...

I will admit that my first exposure to the scripture above came about because of a oldie but goodie playing on my parents 8-track in the family station wagon.  It was performed by the Byrds and it was called "Turn! Turn! turn!".  It was written based upon the scripture from Ecclesiastes.  I know I am "dating" myself by one- mentioning this song. Two- mentioning a 8- track player, and three- mentioning a station wagon!!  Although ours was super cool, it was patriotic blue, with red, white and blue curtains in the side windows in the very back, and we had stickers on the side of every state we had ever traveled to!!  I miss that old wagon,where we listened to old songs, took road trips and spent countless hours asking dad " are we there yet?'
Any way back to the present.   When we first started attending our ward in Taylorsville, I was called to be a primary teacher.  How I loved teaching Primary.  Your students love you, they forgive you your short comings and you get to hear about all their amazing adventures!!  Not to mention a few family secrets!! LOL!! Kids tell you EVERYTHING!!  Lucky for the parents though, we don't tend to divulge what we know.
Any way, I taught primary for quite a while.  A little over a year ago, I was called to be 1st counselor in the primary.  I was a little sad to leave my classroom, but had received the impression that this was where Heavenly Father needed me, so I gladly accepted the calling.  I felt so lucky to work with our President Tonya, Ofelia the other counselor and Cynthia the secretary.  Ofelia moved away and I had the chance to get to know Alli who took her place.  We have all worked so well together.  Tonya has taught us so much, and my love for all the children has grown.

Well, recently Tonya was called to be in the Stake Primary Presidency.  I am not sure how the others in the presidency felt, but I was so sad that we were losing Tonya and not sure what would happen to the rest of us.   We knew that changes would be made, and we were not sure what they would be.  I found myself praying that what ever the Lord desired for me, that I would be at peace with it. 
Last Sunday, the bishop called me to be the Primary President. I was sustained and set a part today.
I thought I would feel overwhelmed, and I have had those moments.  What I didn't expect to feel was peaceful.   I don't know why He has asked me to serve in this capacity, but I do know that I have many things to learn, and this is the season for that learning.  I have already learned a little more about inspiration as I prayed to know who to pick as counselors, and secretary.  I felt really good about keeping some of them on, and felt really good about the newest member of our presidency, Alecia.  She indicated to me, that she had felt a few weeks ago, that this would be where she was called to.
I am someone who struggles with shyness, and I am always fearful of new situations.  I love my comfort zone.  I love to know what is expected of me, and I love to be the one following the Leader.  I have had management positions in the work place, but they were always hard for me.   I don't like to be the bad guy!!  The nice part about leading in the church, is we lead differently then we do in the world.  We still have tough decisions to make, but we are led by our Savior who taught that the best leaders are those who serve the ones we lead.   I pray I can do that.
I pray I can be a good servant.  The bishop blessed me today with the strength and energy I needed and a great love for those I will be serving, The Children.  I am grateful for the blessing and for the loving guidance of my Heavenly Father.  I am also grateful for the loving support of my husband and my family.  Its my season to serve, Its my turn to learn, and my turn to grow.  Its a very humbling experience.